suppose I’m not sure how to put this, but I feel like I’m being sexually harassed by my boyfriend. It’s a very sensitive topic, so please be gentle if you want to be blunt.
It all started roughly a month and a half ago. I have a subscription to this sex shop one town over, and received an email for a nice discount. Well, my boyfriend went to the shop and bought under the bed restraints, which we had discussed for a few months. Normally I’m the dominate one in the relationship, especially sexually. I’m also the giver, so when he suggested that I get strapped down first I was pretty excited to receive some TLC. He strapped me down and made sure I couldn’t move at all. Things were going well at first, and I’ll say ten minutes into it is when it started to go south. I enjoy ice play a bit, but that stuff hurts if left on the skin too long. He asked me what safe word I would like to use, and I said ‘stop’ would be best because I never say stop. He refused for that to be the safe word and if I didn’t come up with something fast he would just put the ice on me anyways. He started to count back from ten while I shouted out other things that could be used, and he still refused for those to be the safe word and kept the ice on my skin. I was extremely worried at this point, but I’ll say that it is my own fault that we didn’t stop then. After the ice, he thought it would be a great idea to pull out a sharpie, and when he brought it close to my skin I was yelling for him to stop, but he wrote slut on me anyways. I don’t even know how describe how I felt at that moment. After the whole thing ended, I told him how awful that was and to respect me, and he seemed to understand.
But the last two weeks have been torture. He will continue to touch me even if I say stop, even if I yell it. It got so bad with him trying to force himself on me that I punched him right in the throat. And instead of getting the hint, all he said was, “why did you punch me?” I explained to him that no means no, and that he needs to respect me. But it hasn’t deterred him because he keeps forcing me into corners so I can’t get out. I’m 5’2 and he’s 6’1. I can’t win when he gets demanding. If I push him, he pushes back. And I mean literally. This is why I’ve had to result to hitting him to get him off.
You’re probably wondering why I haven’t broken up with him, but it’s because we’re moving out this coming Friday into my sister and her husband’s place. They live in my mother’s other home. I’m just hoping that us moving out will calm him down, not that I’ll be wanting him sexually after what he’s been doing. And even though I’ve been talking to him about it, all he says is sorry. Is there anyway to fix this without having to break up?