[Laughs] Types of English Slaps

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1. TAKE AWAY SLAP: When someone gives you a dirty slap, and all you can do is hold your face and walk away.. That is take a away slap.

2. RESOUNDING SLAP:After you are hit with this kind of slap, you keep hearing funny sounds in your brain like wiiiiiiiiiii! And voices in your head start singing christmas Carol.

3. FORMATTING SLAP: This slap does exactly what the name says! You instantly forget what you did a few seconds ago and start asking questions like”what did I do?”

4. EXPLANATION SLAP:When someone loads you this variety of slap..you’ll find yourself explaining the situation to the nearest person of your own accord..e.g..BROS SHEY U BEEN Dey WATCH? I BE NO DO ANYTHING O.

5. FIX DEPOSIT SLAP: This slap is akin to receiving a healthy dose of morphine. You just stand transfixed right where you are and watch the person walk away.

6. RHETORICAL SLAP: The moment you download the slap..you start asking questions that require no answers….e.gJOHN, YOU SLAPPED ME?

7. SWEET SENSATION SLAP: This type of slap is usually dished out by Sweet Sixteen sugar girls to their Sugar Daddies. They download it sweetly but sharply on your cheek….very painful for that matter, the Sugar daddy starts blushing.(Note to wives out there: DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME. It the preserve of Sugar sweet sixteens! Respect their territory)

8. MATHEMATICAL SLAP: This slap physically reconstructs your face, the lengthof your face will be raised to power two, your eye socket will calculate its circumference.

9. THE CHERUBIM AND SERAPHIM: When you receive this slap (it is most effective when given all of a sudden) you gain the ability to speak spanish, greek, arabic, and Yiddish instantly.

10. COLOUR RIOT AND BIRD NEST SLAP: Well, this slap is not a big deal until you start seeing different colors and you head becomes a nest whilst birds fly circles around you.

So…..What’s your favorite slap of them all?

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